Welcome to Coastal Contracting
Building Dreams on Useppa's Sandy Shores
Where every nail is a love letter to the ocean, and every beam is blessed by the sea breeze. We don't just build houses; we craft seaside sanctuaries that make mermaids jealous!
Our Expertise
- Sand Castle Upgrades (We call them homes)
- Seagull-Proof Roofing (They're still working on it)
- Hurricane-Resistant Everything (Because Mother Nature likes to party)
- Sunset-Optimized Windows (For those "I live where you vacation" moments)
- Crab-Friendly Foundations (Because crabs are people too!)
- Mermaid-Approved Decks (Rumor has it Ariel herself left a 5-star review)
Why Choose Us?
We're not just contractors; we're coastal dream-weavers! Here are some over-the-top reasons why we're the best:
- Our hammers are infused with dolphin giggles for added strength.
- Each project is blessed by Poseidon himself (well, a guy named Pete, but he wears a trident hat).
- Our crew can whistle the entire "Pirates of the Caribbean" soundtrack while they work.
- We use seaweed as insulation—just kidding, but wouldn’t that be cool?
- Our customer service is so good, even the local seagulls leave positive Yelp reviews.
Client Testimonials
"Coastal Contracting built my beach house, and now even the dolphins come to hang out. I think they’re jealous of my pool." - Captain Salty Sam
"I asked for hurricane-resistant windows, and they gave me windows that could withstand Poseidon’s wrath!" - Sandy McStormsurvivor
"The only contractor brave enough to build on the haunted sand dunes. Now, I have ghosts and ocean views!" - Waverly Spookington